What is it I don't want other people to know about me?
That I have experienced allot of rejection which has affected my confidence and I have build up a negative picture in my head due to this experience and therefore am allowing fear to get in the way and trying again.
This most probably has to do with what you anticipate others will think.
What stops me feeling good about myself?
Not taking responsibility for my life and not honouring my feelings when they start to indicate negative signs that I need to change something and try and con myself that I am strong and can handle it. Not doing the "right thing"
What would happen if I did feel good about myself?
I would feel confident enough and trust myself that if I put myself first and take care of what is important then all the other things around that will take care of themselves. I would succeeded in anything I put my mind too and feel happy.
Learning to like yourself is important. Take a piece of paper and write down all the things you like about yourself. It might be the shape of your finger nails
or that you try to tell the truth.
Keep collecting items no matter how small over the next week.
- I am proud that I choose to handle a similar situation in a different more responsible way this time around which shows me I am taking responsibility and learning from my lessons in the past. I've had a situation with my career which has presented itself to be rather challenging but feel I have handled it well. Sometimes it's ok to say I don't care that I don't care......if I do care then I worry so
It important to try new things. If you respond with fear then spell out the worst case scenarios you have in your mind, sometimes this is enough for you to realise how unsightly these fears are.
- I am trying new things - I found a friend being rather unsupportive and was bringing me down and instead of always putting their feelings and taking them into consideration and not putting myself first, I've taken a different approach and walked away with the attitude of I come first and if you cannot respect me then that is your loss.
- I have stretched my comfort zone this week and opened up and was myself and found it fun and learnt something about myself
- I've listened and taken a friends advise as they can see things I know but was to "stuck" to do anything about it - now that I have taken action I feel so much better, I still don't know what I would the outcome to be but trying not to control that too much and just praise and recognise myself for taking action
Now think about the worst case scenario and if it were to come true - how could it be managed?
- Presenting the facts and negotiating the best outcome for all parties
Instead of burring the fear take it head on and find a strategy for dealing with it if it does not your instinct may be correct - DON"T DO IT
There are ways to like yourself more, try to think of someone you like, why do you like them?
Self acceptance - try this. Think of two or three people and make a list of the following:
- What characteristics you like in them
High morals and self respect, hard working, positive attitude and doer
- Anything you don't like about them
Being naive and over enthusiastic
- What qualities you admire in them
Sense of humour, loyal, friend, dependable, respectful and trustworthy
Now suppose you had to do this exercise with yourself?
Write down all the things you liked about yourself today, no matter how trivial
I like because I went to bed with no alarm clock and was ok waking when I did
I found the motivation to get out of bed to get to the dentist even though I felt like a truck had driven over me. I did not want to let the dentist down but more importantly myself as I knew if I did not get up and slept more I would pay the price of feeling guilty and had bad dreams and felt worse for it.
I like myself because I have made a few big decisions over the past week mainly to do with my well-being so despite how hard it's been I am put my phone on silent and not going to take calls till the end of the day.
I like these things about myself - being able to put my needs first and take my well-being seriously. I keep my work and I am conscientious.
Both show a link between your values and your behaviour.
How much does the degree of linking yourself depend on your behaviour or your capability.?
It is important to learn how to manage your state. Good management of our state greatly affects our self esteem. There are many ways in which we can change our state to make our experienced more enjoyable.
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