Love Yourself

Friday, May 19, 2017

Woke at 7.21am, which feels good as I am waking up earlier and earlier and enjoy mornings.  I did something different this morning and have noticed that I am starting to feel comfortable doing things out of my normal comfort zone. 

I watched a movie, which I really enjoyed.  The other reason I am trying this is because I am relationship that I find it difficult to understand why my partner behaves the way he does.  What I mean is that I find it difficult to live with someone and we barely communicate, and then he starts playing angry birds a game on his phone straight after he has asked me for toast and tea and we slept in separate beds last night.  Just typing this I say to myself this is so exhausting and I seem to going over the same thing often WHY?  What am I supposed to learn from this?  Why am I am finding this so difficult? 

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I am now using a bit from my favorite magazine Psychologies, LOVE YOURSELF – "Create a new relationship with your thoughts and feelings"

RAIN - R is for Recognition:  It's impossible to deal with an emotion, and to be resilient in the face of difficulty, unless we acknowledge that we're experiencing it

A is for Acceptance:  Accept the feeling and allow it to be there.  Give yourself permission to feel it.  Imagine each thought and emotion as a visitor knocking at the door of your home.  They don't live there - you can greet them, acknowledge them and watch them go.

I is for Investigation:  Explore your emotions with a sense of openness and curiosity.  Examine how each feeling manifests in your body and look at what the feeling contains.  Many strong emotions are intricate tapestries woven out of various strands.  Anger for example, commonly includes moments of sadness, helplessness and fear.  As we get closer to it , an uncomfortable emotion becomes less opaque and solid.  We can focus less on labelling the discomfort and more on gaining insight.

Non -Identification:  In the final step, the aim is to consciously avoid being defined by, and identified with , a particular feeling.  Feeling Angry is different from telling yourself, 'I am an angry person.'  Try noticing your anger and instead of going into judgement, make a gentle observation. "This is state of suffering" The identification opens the door to a compassionate relationship with yourself, which is the real foundation of a compassionate relationship with others.

Psychologies magazine July 2017, Sharon Salzberg 

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In this moment after reading then typing out I find myself having moved through the process and then observing the messages from my body, I have a headache, and can just feel my immune system is fighting something so I've taken the self care steps of running a hot bath with Eucalyptus Aromatherapy oil and sipping on a med-lemon to ease the headache.  This week has been rather challenging but on a positive note.  I feel as though I am rediscovering myself.  I am spending allot of time alone which I enjoy and reconnecting with myself.  The job search route has been rather interesting.  I've had a few negative experiences which has affected my confidence and in the same breath I have gained great experience.  I have found myself going over the same question many times.  Am I making the right decision?  Well if I refer to Susan Jeffers, No loose Decision Making Model the answer would be yes as it is the right decision for me right now.