Changing emotions

One past memory I have is how I use to enjoy writing and how good it made me feel.  Why say this is because I just felt down, unmotivated and disappointed with myself.  I really did not feel like doing any house work but looking at the dust and untidiness did not make me feel better either.  So how I convinced myself to just clean the bathroom, whipp the vacuum around and do the dishes has surprised me.  I think I know myself rather well in that I know it would actually make me feel better if I did that.  

However at the time has not having the enthusiasm and energy and having to work extra hard to motivate myself.   I know that the bad choices I made two nights ago had an impact on how I was feeling and my periods had just arrived which probably had a bit to do with it.  I have also had an  extremely intense week training in my new job.  Being in what I feel is a one side relationship does not help either.  

One of the reasons I get down is because I am in a relationship where there is no communication and it really gets me down.  I feel scared to express my emotions because if they are anything but happy and position then there is drama - as I am writing this I wonder how I can test the power of intention because I know that if I focus on that guess what?  It only gets worse.... so can I choose to turn this around?  One way is to focus on what I do want and need and to be grateful for what I have and really appreciate that.  Today the sky is blue and the sun is out, I am so fortune not to HAVE to do anything or be anywhere I have the full choice of what ever I feeling doing - isn't that just total freedom for you, how many other people would love to be in my position?

I have no stress or pressure other than what I am choosing to put upon myself.

I found what helps me feel better is to reflect and look back over my week and see what I have achieved.