Reflecting

Intention and guidance is strange I have been slightly frustrated with the idea of wanting to write & beating myself up for not doing so! Well meeting Anna on the cruise I know I created & her book to assist me with this then the thought, from the inspiration from a book on life coaching got me to google my name in the blog section and came across a passenger who wrote about me in his blog got me to think about my blog again and got me started.

I am on leave after my first contract at Sea on Arcadia what an amazing experience and fast track experience, unless you experience this yourself you will NEVER understand what it is like to join, absorb, adapt, learn, retain, take on & just change your whole world in a matter of 3 days when you have a hand over then you are on your way running your business and having the freedom to make choices the way you see fit!

Now just recently been to a party where everyone wants to know everything about sea life...............well it is really so difficult to express and try and explain it but I suppose if I do write this in detail no one will ever know then will they? One of things I missed the most was not having a nice hot bath to soak in and read, so guess what I just finished doing ..... just that but this was not normal bath, as I was running my hands through the water getting the temperature just under boiling I was trying to remember where I had seen my flying pillow, you know those you blow up I located it in one of my many pieces of luggage and took out the centre waterproof bit blew it up then dropped it to float while I prepared some all bran's flakes and healthy seeds. Yes I know it is strange but I had breakfast in the bath, then read a little and then did was you suppose to in the bath!

Strangely I am somehow different on holiday? Normally I rush around trying to see the whole world and pack as much in as possible and by the end need another holiday just recover however let me tell you when you work on a ship, well for me anyway it was 23 or 25/7 with timezones! When you worked you worked and when that was done well socialising till you dropped! Sleep was a rare commodity so I am really just chilling........ my mobile phone battery died yesterday and it does not phase me at all! How many people can say that?

Ok but the Internet makes up for that as this is another luxury which is SLOW and expensive on board! Read about me

http://www.mycruiseblog.co.uk/blog/_archives/2009/8/11/4285307.html

I am now following my dream to a photographer, wildlife and animals is my thing so.....been buried in books and learning and reading and oh course taking lots of photos! Ok about sea life well firstly I took 10GB of pictures in 4 months and it took me a whole day to go through 15 434 pictures and delete what was rubbish and uploaded what I thought were good ones to my Flickr page

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kar893/

So that will give you a flavour of my travels but it is like moving planets and learning a new language! The best thing is people make decisions the worse thing is you just do not stop! Maritime law and fleet regulations, drills, safety, and acrinims OMG............planning is a always, very short cycle which is great when you have a one week cruise you just start and you are planning the next one. It is also getting to know where to find all the information of this huge ships computer system. You have to think like a passenger as there is so much to choose from from during your cruise your marketing has to be spot on amongst the more experienced but it was not long before I got my head around what to do when and where! The most frustrating part was not having my OWN room to teach in which meant I had to carry 15 laptops and all the other bits like CD's and paper work to go with it, eventually I had a box and just put it all in there! My disaster was my laptop fell and now am laptopless............so if anyone outhere is will to donate any loose change please do, cheque, bank deposits is all welcome as my next mission is to invest in a MAC so the massage bed is going for sale to start my fund and by the year I will have the Mac of my dreams........watch this space!

Blog with me

http://www.eCruiseReviews.com

Results from focused intention!

I am amazed by how much I have achieved in the past two days. It was my intention to be READY as if I was leaving in the morning.........when I looked around this morning it seemed like there was still tons to do. Well I multi and triple tasked by burning CD's, panting my nails and doing a full pediture and catching up on season 6 of 24 and I have to finish it before I leave.

Now I have a clear path ahead to focus on my course material and get totally zoned and focues for my new life at sea!

Power of intention

Now most of time I have what one would call great ideas and thoughts. However these desires fueled by emotion and absolute clarity in what I have experienced as intention. Lets go back in time for a moment........

Wadworth Holme I moved into 1 June 2007 with the help of a of dear friend who helped me move. Well I had already been warned by my brother whom very strongly suggested I make alternative arrangements as he had moved me enough times to be a professional at it. Well I had moved 10 times in 6 years and he had done 6 of the 10 moves!

I arrived at Wadworth Holme with 30 boxes which occupied half of the double garage. I could face the boxes for the first year but eventually when I did, I wish I had started earlier if only I knew the enormous emotional relief I would experience but "de-cluttering" well the long of the short is I have 5 boxes left which consist of photo albums, books, important files (papers) few sentimental items. I am getting of my ship in literally 2 weeks time so I had to step up a gear in terms of getting organised!

Over the years people have moved in and out and the other open space of the garage well became a dumping ground so myself and Aggy and Magic (as my Mom called him), Lee and Mom got stuck in and took everything out the garage and repacked it very neatly and had a "junk - don't not know who it belongs to" pile. The major task was getting the huge 3 piece cupboards which I had bought to fit all my clothes into the garage and return the tiny cupboard and chest of drawers to my room. Mission complete, the best part was making a huge fire from all the wood from an old cupboard, Magic took the time to get his electric drill out and take one screw out at a time, how thoughtful. Subconsciously I am very aware of things I will most with ship life, so I did not hesitate to dive into the deep freezer and find something to put to the "braai" there was something about having a braai all on my own and cooking the meat and the coals that were once my cupboards!

Now in my head I was thinking ok 3 birds with one stone, as I need to make a plan to consume all the food I have, get rid of all this wood and experience a new experience!

In between all this I had the laptop going with ALL the thousands of CD's and DVD's I have collected over the years, I was ripping the content onto my hard drive so I could then transfer it to my itunes library and have ALL my music at the touch of a button. The other aspect was loading them on to Amazon.com for sale as I had previously benefited from the exercise with many books.........and what I can not sell I will pass to the Charity shop.

New day.......I was awoken by the birds this morning and that is another thing I will miss dearly. This was around 05h31, I got up and made a cup of tea returned to bed opened window to let the fresh morning breeze in and just enjoy listening to the birds. I felt a bit pecking so I made myself some "jungle oats" my favourite only found in South Africa which I get from out local SA shop. Again something that will be missed.

I thought ok time for a walk, jumped into my tracksuit and looked up at where my keys normally hang and thought mmmmm ok where are my keys......then I suddenly remembered leaving them in the ignition of car and slowly creaped up the kitchen window just to check if the car was still there, knowing full well it would be. Then thought that is one of the reason I choose to live here!
I then went for my morning walk which is about 20 to 30 minutes, for the first time I noticed all the slugs and snails in my path and had to make a real effort not to stand on them. The birds were pulling there worms out the grass and singing away.

Got back hoped in the car and drove down to the local centre where the Charity shop is and unpacked 3 bags and 2 boxes of unwanted clothes, shoes and bits.

Well today I will carry out the important bits, like my paperwork so till next chapter"!

Managing chance with faith

For my second interview I had a prepare a present as if I was the "teacher" teaching. I had to explain and demonstrate red eye removal, cloning, straighten(horizon) and wrinkle deduction - all using Roxio photo editing software.

The morning of the 8th the nerves kidded in so I lay my pillow down besides my bed got on my knees and prayed! Then suddenly I had this spark of creativity which I just knew I had to use so I did an Internet search for "yashika" which is the make of the camera my granny use to use. Late 1950's.......as a young girl I was my granny Meme's (was her nick name, well nan in French) little princess! I remember how painful it use to be at the age of 7 to have site DEAD STILL for 1 minute while Meme photo moment was going on......now I know where I get it from as this was indeed a big deal! Then just in case it did not come out properly several of roughly the same angels had to be taken!

So I printed the picture off and added to black and white photo's of me and Einstein (our maid) as the one photo I was on her back and the other I was copying her with my doll on my back.......

Let me just say I gave the BRIEF overview in my presentation I am giving the FULL version..........juts in case you start wondering! In face I will highlight the bits I used!

So I started my presentation introducing myself and then going through my journey of "photos" so you've heard the first part the second was around the age of 8 - 12 when Robert, my uncle (mother's brother) and Shirley his wife had an Instamatic camera which was so COOL click and this photo rolled out the front you held in under your arm for 2 minutes and PICTURE! However this method of photography was great fun but very expensive!

Then came along the traditional film which one had to take the shop and wait 1 hour so all of sudden going to Pick n Pay, our local supermarket became fun and there was the photo shop right next door. Oh course if was not cool to go grocery shopping with Meme so we, Donny my brother and I would run around the centre and get the security guards blood pressure up as we would run the opposite way up the escalators then get on on the top as if we were riding horses and glide down to the bottom, for some reason he could just never catch us! Poor Mom or Meme would of course get a ear bashing from the security guard! We did this until eventually, well we just got to heavy and would jam the system! Once you get to 13 then you DEFINITELY do not go shopping your Mom or Gran....unless it is for new shoes or clothes !!

When I won my overseas incentive with Rentokil to Bali.......MY WORLD CHANGED as I borrowed a DIGITAL camera....well lets just say I WAS HOOKED!

One time on holiday the camera actually stopped working - boy was my brother happy as he was driving and I made him stop every 5 minutes to take photos!


Anyway I went through and made it interesting and said things like........wrinkles removal is like having botox at the click of a finger! I went through the simple explanation of hardware and software describing it like our skeleton being hardware and software being the organs and two work together! Folders were suitcases and files were clothes......

Then I was asked all the usual questions and after two hours I just asked and said SO how do I compare against other candidates? Julian, replied well you will know shortly......I looked at him with big eager eyes and asked HOW SHORTLY I need to know now Julian, replied and say well would you be able to meet the CEO Jane and her partner this evening at 6 for a coffee or glass of wine?

Well of course, where? so her drew me a little map - I replied no no Julian men and maps ....mmm....just give me a post code!

Then I found 210 High Road Chiswick and opposite was a Nando's where I sat and had a coke kind of speechless but excited! Now I had a hour to kill and was hunger but again only had 5 pound coins in my purse really waiting for the middle of month to get my expenses paid. I had to preserve the money for parking - but still the coke was £2.95 so I made sure I took advantage of the bottomless offer!

At 17h45 I loaded the meter and made my way over to 210, the sun was shining and I took Lee's advice and wore a skirt which "worked" I felt good as I strolled across the road and all eyes were on me if you what kind of feeling I am trying to describe here!

Was introduced to Richard who looks like Richard Hammon but has a personality like Nigel a business and family friend and Jane like Botox girl from Sex in the City, Kim Cattrall. So I choose the wine Chenin Blanc ‘Stonedale’ Rietvallei Estate Roberston 2008.......a bottle arrived and then the champagne came along and we all chatted away and then the big moment of a toast........WELCOME ABOARD!

Two glasses of wine then champers then it was WATER!! Left then at 9 and blasted the music all the way home but somehow felt like I had to celebrate so found myself at Lee's (sister in law) house and a bottle of wine was cracked open and then we sat till 2 in the morning, I still managed to make us boiled eggs in my state as we were a bit peckish! Well the funny part for me was Lee NEVER eats eggs unless they are HARD boiled and it was not soft but it was not hard but she wafted this egg down with mmm mmm mm madem that was nice!!! I do remember a glimmer of allot of salt being added!! Good fun! Well I did not get further than putting Jojo under my arm and stumbling off to Alec's bed and then got woken up with Jojo licking me to open the door for her morning nature call! Got downstairs and Madem was making tea so I crabbed my laptop as I had a deadline to get my reports for the end of quarter in. I got back into bed and then discovered the laptop lead not present so without hesitation.........baring in mind I had helped myself to Lee's wardrobe which was to start off to small for me never the less - pale blue velvet kind of boxer looking shorts and lime green faded top which again was above my belly button and just covered my elbows, I had a blanket over me got into my black high heels slug my laptop bag over my shoulder and headed home with the Madem in laughter saying do not get stopped by a traffic officer looking like that!!

So I had 25 minutes but got my presentation done by 9h00 then did the deed to making that phone call to Tony, my boss! He was very happy for me and said boy that sure takes allot guts, you will be missed but have a ball! See you on Tuesday at the board meeting! Gosh at the time I had that knot in my tummy he could even hear it in my voice and asked if I was OK........now only a man would do that......WAS I OK?? Then he asked well what is your last working day I said WELL they need my on the ship 30th April.......he replied well you should give 4 weeks notice but I will speak to the powers that be! (I call that the red tape talk!) or reading from the manual but I think we all know.....anyway I will share that with you when I know! I have a hire car at the moment so I know it is paid for until the 16/4/9 so.......watch this space!

Gosh then emails........letter of offer, C1D1 visa application and appointment, Seaman's Discharge book application, passport photos, book medical........the next thing I knew it was 15h00 as boy was I tired, delayed hang over was hoovering I tried to sleep NO CHANCE! I had to do the invite on FB for all as well! Jumped in the bath got dressed and went down to Lee's where Mom and Donny were coming over for a braai (BBQ) then I got the laptop out as I was not in the mood for drinking and even instructed Alec to put his ipod on and to stop this bang bang trance music...so the reggae tunes were more soothing on my soul!

Checking my email........CHANGE OF SCHEDULE!!!!!!

Change of plan on your start date, I will need you to fly to Gibraltar on the 26th April 2009 to join the ship on the 27th. I will arrange your flight and hotel for the night of the 26th. We will need to move quickly on this!

So I added "Places you've visited" to my FB and started my journey with going to Gibraltar. Registering on "crewparty.com" watching the video's of ship's at see in Cyclone!!







It cannot get worse than that I told myself......nothing like a bit of ADVENTURE!

The evening continued as this was the first braai of the season as Donny was over moon and it was full moon with his braai it came out excellent so had Jojo on my lap covered with the blanket and just gazed at the flames and Jojo's head would pop up every now and again when the scene of cooked boerewors came our way!

Positive News!

I believe the "credit crunch" is having a positive effect on the globe - it is forcing people to be creative and appreciate what they have or make do as one would say instead of having this constant urge to be elsewhere and want more and bigger and better - just to pause, take a deep breath and say I am happy and how to have what you want and want what you have!! This mornings news was about instead of having "location location location" the presenter thought due to the market not moving lets look at what we HAVE and improve work on it take a course renovate etc and how much joy and pride one can experience it seeing the result of hard work and effort not just replace buy new etc etc !!

Arcadic

Never give up!

I wrote this after arriving back home from my 1st interview with Big Picture for P & O Cruises!

For those of you who don't know it has been a dream of mine to work on a cruise ship!! Since Oct 2007 when I did my course in International Hotel Operations I have been applying, studying and learning about this fantastic industry and spent a FORTUNE of postage with hand delivered CV's.

After almost giving up, being rejected many many times - it finally happened the "perfect job" and I have made the second interview which will be next week and I know I have the job - you know when you know!

The position is for a Digital Living Presenter on board P & O, 4 month contract sailing the med in summer based in South Hampton and based in BARBADOS in winter doing the Caribbean!!

My job on board will be selling workshops to passengers all about IT - digital imaging and then also selling with NO COMPETITION laptops, camera, mp3, software, satnav's etc. My status with be 2 stripe OFFICER with my OWN DOUBLE BED cabin. I will be working for Big Picture the media recruitment agent - they said it is your business as long as you hits the revenue targets you are welcome to come to us with ideas, even put your own workshops together etc they are very open to suggestions etc as my job is to MAKE THEM MONEY like any business.........

SO I can see myself presenting my own workshops on POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE, wellbeing etc making sure they spend more money in the spa and the spa will pay me a commission for all the people that book treatments from my workshops using a special promo code, I will start a "well-being" newsletter onboard via the marketing dept as I will be working with a team of 9 (printing, advertising, retail, marketing, photographer etc) I can see myself become the "cruise line well-being presenter" just going from ship to ship doing what I love and making money and seeing the world!! No doubt I will be sticking my noise into the cooking classes and boosting that too with the HEALTHY alternative. In the mean time I have my interview next Wednesday at 2pm.......just to confirm they are happy with my teaching/presenting style object handling etc....my contract starts the 1 May 2009.........yes I know you must be thinking HOW as my current employer DOES NOT KNOW ANTHING SO as the secret says ASK ~ BELIEVE ~ RECEIVE!!

So what are YOU going to ASK for TODAY??

Be careful what you wish for.......because YOU WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY GET IT!

It has taken me a while to get back to this as I have been to pre occupied by "judgment" by that I mean, what will others think? The other is well I have just been to lazy, I have told myself many times I should write about that or this but somehow deep down there has been a knowing that this time will return and it has. It is very strange but I can feel things before they happen, it is strange but like the oceans current changing. I will admit that to a certain extent I have been in denial as that is how one "copes" sometimes for it to "ok" in your world!

Three big things for me, well the best word I can use to describe it is "change management". Either I want to keep a change at bay or I want to bring it on and welcome it into my life as quickly and fully as possible. Then there is the time element of patience which I have not yet mastered. Thirdly the "feelings" through my intuition and intelligent, through my heart and my head & attempting to interpret the signs and signals I see all around me! Hey and of course the big thing to my disadvantage is HORMONES!!

The challenge and change is traveling and working on cruse liner is a hot climate, now I have the certificate in International Hotel Operations, have spend a small fortune of enriching Royal Mails shares by sending CV's hand delivered to agencies, ships followed by emails and follow up letters and calls to the US, well thank goodness the time zones give me the chance to that after hours as they are 5 hours behind us! Amongst all this in your face the globe seems to be hit by the aftermath of many irresponsible individuals which seemed to have lost the meaning of appreciation, respect and fulfillment and letting what we know as "ego" getting in the way.

Now being the positive, optimistic person I am walked around in denial thinking oh this will not "affect" me.......what this has many meaning! Ask yourself this question, how has the current global situation directly affected me?

The way it has affected me is for one I knew along time ago I am not living my life purpose, my passion I am allowing "external forces" to control me by what society says I "should be doing"........however I for what ever reason have chosen to do this and the beauty is "choice" as all I have to is change me choices.

I chose to walk out of my marriage just about 2 years ago because I felt it was not serving my "higher purpose" I did not "feel" this was fulfilling me as I was constantly frustrated, doubtful, angry, tired, unappreciated, disappointed and most of all alone! No team work, communication, sharing etc. Don't get me wrong there were good times but I had made a promise to myself and one thing I knew it not matter HOW challenging this one I would see through and gosh had the road been an interesting one of discovery ..........getting to know "who you really are" is the best discovery ever.

At one point I thought my friend and family are going think "what is wrong with her she has not found another man, or moved on" I made the choice that I did not want to move from the frying pan into the fire and believe it is unfair to take your baggage along into someones life who most probably has some baggage as well.

So the final part of "de bagging" is divorce..........not what I call "hot air" words are easy. Action however is what follows the thought and then the feeling.

In the midst of all this going on another heart stung is being pulled with arrival of Mother and the "responsibility" of sharing yourself in many ways. So big sister will lead the way and arranges one the rooms which a house mate pays for but is never here for Mom to sublet for 3 months at a reduced rent which will be subsidized by children being me and my brother Duck. As not family matters ever are simple and straight forward - communication between male and female and being brother and sister lets just says wires get crossed from time to time. However amongst all this I am ever so grateful to have my family around, hey and best part is when you come home from work and mom has made peas soup or a stew and it the middle of winter and all your laundry is neatly piled on your bed. That is what I call a mothers love! Definitely a acts of service love language!


It has been extremely challenging to learn "non interference" being the older sister that thinks she knows it all is difficult as you cannot help yourself you just want step in and take control, fix it and take over when you realize the only way your brother or anyone can learn is by their own mistake all you can do is be their and be supportive in what ever way that might be.

Having met Jane a single mom from Zimbabwe with Alecia whom is almost 3 has make me see how challenging parenthood really is, I suppose we all have that "natural ability" to be parents as we do it with one around us the only difference you can leave when have had enough.

How often do you ask yourself, why am I feeling the way I feel. Most of time it is when you are experience a "negative emotion" the reason I bring this up is I have experience something of late that was totally unexpected I am still not quiet sure what it all means but think I have an idea.

It is all about acceptance. A former boss once told me that is first stage of healing! Now as I am writing thing it suddenly makes senses, gosh as I said in the beginning about denial well I finally get it. All this time I have almost convinced myself that I was fine! I finally understand when people say well you know you do not get over a 14 year relationship in a heartbeat!

I started feeling really low about 2 weeks ago and initially believed all the negativity of the globe is starting to having an affect on me not matter how I try and stop it. Well with work when you are constantly rejected by people all day hey must have some kind of negative affect when all you get is how can we cut costs, it is about cost, not quality or service the cheapest is what will do and in my business that is the last thing one needs to hear, well constantly! Then suddenly I started doing a little reflecting and thinking hey do not take this personally but there are some days when you just cannot help it, the sky is grey, you struggle to find the energy to get out bed, then the task of deciding what to wear, the traffic, running late and then BEING REJECTED all day! Well the music helps, being aware of nature while stopped at a traffic light, just being grateful for being alive, healthy and having my family and cosy bed and delicious food and just being grateful for I do have the company is great they do looking after me. Yes I pay for the benefit of company car but it is the way I like it pay and drive! To just appreciate my easy broadband, with mobile broadband, and all the IT gadgets I could possibly need to make this world we live it a bit easier, but again one can get "attached" to things, outcomes, jobs, peoples for the wrong reasons.

As I stare out into the garden the new shoots on the trees are an indication that the season shift has started, and it is a time for new beginnings and revived friendships! Well how bizarre but yet again the proof of my guardian angel answering my prayer goes back to the title...........as I was longing for the day for the phone to ring and see Eddette's name and catch up and today was that day and best and happiest moment I have experienced since Xmas. I am internally grateful for things I have learn't and the precious opportunity of true friendship! Now before I start beating myself up I promised that I would spend the rest of afternoon doing what I am trying to avoid the most but I know it will make me feel fantastic once it is done and that is "work" filing, and reports and preparing for the week ahead and BEST part is I have Friday off and preparing for night out with Eddette and Frants well............to be continued...............